how to make relationships work

Making relationships work

How do we make relationships work?, hmmm! it takes the grace of God and a lot of good notion including patience understand and perseverance and most relationship have stress and crisis, so making sacrifice for that relationship will go a along way, but it is always worth the while if properly applied, there are so many information, prompts and advice out there and sometimes they could be reliable and sometimes it is not worth accepting because they look like junk automatically means it is not a good advice and it is not worth reading because they are most times contradicting and confusing. The unfortunate thing is that most information given is one-sided and   does not apply to everybody because of the fact that different problems needs different solutions and i am being brief about what advice I can give about making a relationship work. There are some elements of truth about stability in a good relationship.  Some factors that make relationships work are:
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

 

relationship built on trust

built on trust

  • Trust: A good, healthy and loving relationship relies on trust and faith in whomever you are dealing with which includes marriages and others, for without trust, chaos, confusion and pestilence will arise in that relationship and from a layman’s point of view, a relationship without trust is like telephone without service, which is almost like a relationship without a good foundation.  lack of trust can lead to you checking on him all the time believing in what you imagine which could be baseless. lets say he is away on a conference, you are there worried about what he or she is doing and who they are with and all kinds of thought will be flowing through your mind.  Unnecessary insecurities due to lack of trust will lead to constant quarrel and commotions at home which if looked critically could end up driving both of you apart instead of getting close. I get it, there has been a bad experience about a past relationship. but we need to forget about our past and move on or else you will have trust issue in your relationship which you need to avoid.
    The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
relationship

relationship

  • communication : Do you communicate with your partner at all? some people have problem expressing their feelings and what they think with their friend and partner, but why? of what value is that relationship when there is no room for proper communication. Lack of communication with your partner is a big problem. It is in your best interest to tell him your opinion, then you can both solve whatever problem you may have and it will create room for understanding which is always the case with communicating to each other and not keeping quiet. improper communication might lead to survival problems in that relationship. There are some factors that needs consideration when communicating and these includes respect and talking calmly and reasonably to each other and this could be a better solution to all problems which will call for understand and therefore solution.
love

love

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last

  • Love: There is that saying which says “love conquers them all”.  It is the major reason which brings two people together anyways and sometimes some people decide to get together and live together even if they don’t love each other and its an incredible situation and with time they may fall in love with each other and this love situation will help in solving most problems, no matter how tough and if both parties fall apart that same love that brought them together the first time will always bring them back.  For peace, understanding and love to reign in any relationship you must learn to:
  1. Understand your partner at all cost
  2. Give love honor and respect to each other
  3. Try creating moment for connection and communication
  4. Learn to share things in common
  5. Cope with situations and problems wisely and strategically no matter how tough
  6. Learn to dialogue as much as you can

 

 

 

 

Marriage – A Change Of Language From I To We

Marriage And Its Values

marriage

Marriage as we all know is a great institution which brings two together and make them one. the word “WE” instead of the original “I”  arises because they have both been joined in holy matrimony which makes us a “WE”. 

marriage

It is very interesting how the metamorphosis of life goes round and round starting from when we were little till when we became adults and finally decided getting married. Marriage as we all know is a great institution, the most interesting part of this great institution is graduating from “I” as a bachelor or spinster to “WE” as married couples and facing all the challenges that comes with it.

marriage an institution

The bible quote says “A man shall leave his father and mother and become one with his spouse” and  they shall become one, therefore everything they do or say is in harmony and agreement and decisions taken is under mutual understanding mostly from both parties.  The major reason which brings two people together in the first place is attraction which eventually develops to love over the cause of time and it is the major reason for marriage eventually.

marriage

It makes both parties realize they have each others back as couples by getting married and these leads to going out together, doing things together, taking decisions together which is why the word “WE” is paramount in everything they do instead of the word “I” which is often used by a single person who is not committed to somebody but themselves.

married

Every institution has its own language and the word “WE”  which means “two of us ” is predominant in marriage because, both have become one in decision-making and every other thing they do, therefore differentiating them from the singles and unmarried.  Now that both have become one, trust, understanding, enduring each other due to challenges of marriage is very important and the love they share will surely overcome all challenges as long as they keep standing as one.

marriage

Love is more than words or what we can comprehend, It is more than an occasional gift. Love is a commitment to one another, It indicates our willingness to adapt to and cooperate with each other.  It is a lot of effort. When we first meet and court somebody, we are happy that someone noticed us, have interest in us and profess their feelings for us.  As the years pass, we do realize that we know more about what makes our partners happy, sad and is  important to them.

marriage and happiness

Marriage is a change of language, because of the love that brings us together and makes us one.  Love as we all know, is the greatest reward between two partners which is the foundation of the unity in the first place, because it creates companionship, understanding with one another, sensitivity, unselfishness, tenderness and makes room for accommodation between both parties. 

Married couple

There is always a special bond or unity which makes it possible for us to appreciate and value what could be of importance to each other.  The language of marriage which makes us a “WE” instead of a “I” is the affection we show for each other by saying I love you, you are precious to me, I like being around you all the time e.t.c, some couples would say these words to each other everyday, which gives them more confidence and confirms to them, how happy they are with each other.

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Trust and Distrust In Marriage And Any Other Relationship

Trust and Distrust

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Trust is the beginning of every good marriage, but when trust is not there anymore, it takes the grace of God for trust to exist again in that relationship. A spouse can forgive, but that painful experience will make it difficult for the offended spouse to let go for fear that it could happen again. For some, it is easier to forgive than to forget. Trusting and getting hurt is bad enough, so, taking chances for the occurrence is not an option? Putting up barriers of protection is not uncommon for a wounded spouse.

Trust

Trust

Distrust is very common between spouses especially when one has cheated and this situation might weaken a marriage that needs trust to grow. Distrust is like putting on a guard if in any way there is cheating or occurrence of it again. It is a means of protection. On the other hand, it is certainly not impossible to trust again, but it takes some effort and determination for it usually does not happen easily or quickly in any way.

Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration

trusted relationship

relationship of trust

A victim once said after reconciliation with her husband, that she realized what infidelity can cause to a family life and she compared it to a starving dog snatching a beautiful wedding cake. Getting the trust back was like looking for a piece of needle in a haystack but the truth is that the remaining cake was still beautiful, but the unforgettable part is that anytime you look at the remaining cake you kind of miss the complete cake before the dog got into it and that makes you bitter, sad and angry.  the question is, how could a loving spouse take such beauty away from a loved one he promised to cherish? that kind of pain is often indescribable and a lot will surely be affected including Life itself.

trusting your couple

couple

Marriage is not the only institution that has cheating issues . Many  Cheaters victimize their relationships with children, loving friends, other close family members, and even themselves. The bad part about this is that it may affect cheaters’ families because of the pain, embarrassment, and awareness of community gossip it will cause. most times such scandal can lower the value or importance of a family within a community. The whole families may suffer because of it.  A good friend does not want to witness her best friend’s husband in a compromising situation with another women. A member of the family  does not want to hear gossip about their loved one from other people in the community.  the Young people contemplating marriage one day might lose faith and respect in the marriage institution due to this infidelity crisis in the society, and celebrity gossip on the media is not helping either. All of these life experiences are painful for many family members and others to bear when it comes to issues of cheating and infidelity.

relationship built on trust

built on trust

The unfortunate thing is that cheating and crisis at home always have very bad or negative effects on the children because it gets them confused and they end up being the most wounded victims. A lot of children suffer silently and some could blame themselves and the bad part is that this parent problem could spill over into the rest of their lives thereby causing various dysfunctions in their own personal families. The best thing to do if situations like this arise is to go for counseling but many families do not look at it that way because many families do not see the need to get it.
Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again in Relationships

distrust couples

distrust couples

Cheating is never a good thing both in a marriage or any relationship, and making irrelevant and unnecessary excuses are not acceptable either and as we all know the consequences are always devastating for all parties involved, especially the children and the offended spouse.“Sometime the effects of cheating on the victims involved could be devastating especially, if they end up living that relationship for another and it could be a problem if the parties involved are not fully healed, so the best we can do to avoid any kind of trauma in our lives is being sincere and honest with our friends, spouse and acquaintances.

 

 

To Feel Loved By Family On Christmas Day

It's Great To Feel Loved By Your Family On Christmas Day

christmas

Love they say supersedes everything and as we all know love is a great tool for human consumption especially at Christmas, Love as we know brings family together, settles quarrels, disputes among acquaintances and the joy of Christmas makes you feel loved, especially when you have a get together with your family and friends. On a special day like Christmas, love brings everybody together either you meet at a family gathering or you all go out to eat, either way is fulfilling.  They say when things fall apart the center can no-longer hold, everybody comes together because of the love they have together.  when there is love among family members, especially at Christmas the center will always be intact and you will feel loved and happy and you will be hoping that the  family be together again which is always a thing of joy and gladness of heart.

xmas

That song happy holidays is a very great song which puts us all in the season mood and makes us all eager to see friends, family and acquaintances.  Christmas always leads to giving gifts, Christmas cards and sometimes going out to eat with family which is part of the love that comes with these wonderful season and most importantly for the kids who are always eager to see father Christmas because of gift and for the joy that they are with a family member which indicates love from parents to kids, love from members of the family to each other and love  from the community to the society which makes the world a joyous and wonderful place to leave and appreciate the year that went by and waiting for the new year to come.

xms

Family gathering, community gathering is always exciting especially at Christmas. We always have the pleasure of happiness when we feel loved by friends and especially by members of the family which makes our hearts and mind filled with joy and happiness especially in the Christmas season. All the attention you get that day makes you fill loved and happy.  As we all know celebrating Christmas is a thing of joy for us all and most importantly is that we celebrate with  joy and happiness that comes with it, that tells us that we should never reject the gathering of friends and family especially at a special period as Christmas. The thought and the joy of getting together most times will make you happy and filled with joy seeing your family members at Christmas.

 

Mother-The Power Of A Mother’s Love

The Importance Of A Mother’s Love

mother and child

A Mother is a special person in our different lives, because they are the pillars of our lives from when we were born, the foundation we lean on from when we were little till we became adults and even as adults we are still there little baby and they are always worried for us and looking out for us.  Always making sure we have the best and giving us the best advice that a good mother will give a child and they are always there for us. “Who sat and washed my infant head when sleeping on my cradle bed my mother” There are times that some of us don’t get along with our mothers, even so we always remember them for what they have done in our various lives. A mother is always having the best relationship and love for their kids no matter what.

mother and child

Starting from when we were kids, they are always there for us making sure they teach us the best morals so we become good people in the society by supporting us with moral training, sometimes they are strict with their rules and instruction but the truth is that they always want the best for us and always want us to become the best in the society, by being respectful to ourselves and to others, gracious, kind to others and loving to everybody around us. They are there for us when we are sick and when we make any complains, they are there to listen to us when we need help and they help in finding a solution to our problems by giving the best advice they can. Most of the time they are our first role model in so many ways and we always look unto our mothers before we do anything for approval. She is always there to help us with life challenges and to show us how much she loves us through thin and rain, no matter what our situation could be.

mothers love

The importance of a mothers love for a child has no bounds, they always do their best to mold and shape a child to become one of the best in the society in which they belong and the love they have for us creates the best in us. They always look after our well-being all the time and are available to us most of the time that we need them, If we look back we will see what they have done in our lives especially when were developing our little brains, time they thought us what it takes to love and the importance of love by showing it to us and their consequences. As a child that knows the values of a mother and the challenges they have gone through with us in sickness, with  school work and at home they are always there, so we need to appreciate our mothers and the important role they have played in our different lives. Happy mothers day to all our mothers, we appreciate your efforts thank you.

 

WHAT BROKEN RELATIONSHIP DO YOU WISH TO RESTORE

HOW I WISH RESTORING AN OLD RELATIONSHIP COULD BE TRUE

broken relationship

BROKEN RELATIONSHIP CAN ARISE AS A RESULT OF DIVORCE, SEPARATION OF A CHILD TO A PARENT, FRIENDS WITH LOVED ONES, LOVERS BREAKING UP, WIFE TO A HUSBAND  AND SO ON.  HAVING A RELATIONSHIP IS A NATURAL PROCESS WHICH BINDS TWO OR MORE PEOPLE TOGETHER, THEREBY CREATING ROOM FOR UNDERSTANDING, PATIENCE, PERSEVERANCE AND SHARING THINGS IN COMMON.  THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS WHICH BRINGS ABOUT BROKEN RELATIONSHIP, THIS COMES IN DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS, DIFFERENT  WAYS AND DIFFERENT SITUATIONS CAUSES BROKEN RELATIONSHIP.
relationship

WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT FACTORS AND SITUATIONS WHICH BREAKS US ALL FROM OUR LOVED ONES WHICH MOST TIMES IS BEYOND OUR REASONING AND SOMETIMES COULD BE DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL AND BECAUSE OF THESE SITUATIONS,WE DO HAVE REASONS TO WANT A RESTORED RELATIONSHIP. SOMETIMES I REMEMBER ALL THE BAD RELATIONSHIPS THAT I HAD IN THE PAST AND THE GOOD ONES TOO. THESE RELATIONSHIPS SOMETIMES ARE BROKEN DUE TO MOVEMENT AND DISTANCE APART.  SOMETIMES I THINK TO MYSELF SAYING, I WISH I WAS STILL IN THAT COMMUNITY WHERE MY OLD FRIENDS WERE, THEREFORE WISHING FOR A RESTORED RELATIONSHIP ESPECIALLY YOUR CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AND THE ONES  YOU MISSED THERE CONTACTS. AND I BELIEVE THIS KIND OF SITUATION APPLIES TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.

broken relationship

SOMETIMES I QUESTION THE WHOLE IDEA OF A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP.  SOME PEOPLE ARE MEANT TO BE IN OUR LIVES AND SOME ARE NOT AND SOMETIMES I AM NOT SURE IF RESTORING A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP IS A GOOD IDEA AND IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE IS GOING TO BE A REMINDER TO THE OTHER.  I DO KNOW THAT FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPEN IN LIFE THERE IS ALWAYS A REASON, EITHER POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY. SOME RELATIONSHIP BROKE DUE TO NEGLIGENCE AND OTHER VARIED REASONS.  SOMETIMES WE FEEL WE SHOULD RESTORE SOME RELATIONSHIP, BUT THE QUESTION IS WOULD THAT RELATIONSHIP BE THE SAME AS IT USED TO BE WHEN THE GOING WAS SMOOTH AND DANDY?

AMEND A HEART

RESTORE A BROKEN HEART

WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS AS TO WHAT OUR WISHES ARE ABOUT RESTORING AN OLD AND BROKEN RELATIONSHIP. I HAD A CLOSE FRIEND WHO WAS TELLING ME ABOUT THE LOVE LIFE HE HAD IN THE PAST AND HE SAID ITS THE TRUEST AND PUREST LOVE HE CAN EVER HAVE AND HE SAYS HE STILL REMEMBERS THAT RELATIONSHIP AFTER SEVERAL YEARS AND WISHES HE COULD GO BACK THERE. ON DAILY BASIS HE WISHES HE GOES BACK TO THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE AND IN TRUTH WE ALWAYS WISH TO GO BACK TO OUR OLD  AND GOOD RELATIONSHIPS, ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A GOOD ONE.
broken

IF YOU WOULD AGREE WITH ME, THE BROKEN RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU WOULD WANT RESTORED WOULD BE THE ONE THAT GIVES YOU GOOD AND WONDERFUL MEMORIES. CURING A BROKEN HEART IS NOT ALWAYS AN EASY PROCESS ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS BASED ON BETRAYAL OF TRUST AND INFIDELITY, BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS HEAL AND CONTINUE TO TRUST AND LOVE AGAIN. ONCE YOU DECIDE TO MOVE ON, IRRESPECTIVE OF YOUR EXPERIENCE YOU WILL BEGIN TO BE HAPPY AGAIN WITHIN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.
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IF YOU EVENTUALLY BREAKUP WITH SOMEONE, COULD IT BE TRUE LOVE?

WITH TRUE LOVE, CAN YOU EASILY BREAKUP A RELATIONSHIP?

THE QUESTION IS, IF THE LOVE IS TRUE, CAN THERE BE A REAL BREAK UP? ITS HARD TO DETERMINE, DEPENDING ON OUR DEFINITION OF TRUE LOVE AND WHAT WE THINK ABOUT BREAKING UP A RELATIONSHIP AND THE FACTORS WHICH BRINGS ABOUT THE BREAKUP.  IF WE LOOK AT IT CRITICALLY BEFORE WE START A RELATIONSHIP THERE WAS A FEELING OR ATTRACTION BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES WHICH BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER, WHICH EVENTUALLY TURNS TO TRUE LOVE OR INFATUATION AS THE CASE MAY BE.
one true love

I WILL SAY TRUE LOVE IS GIVING ALL YOU HAVE TO SOMEBODY AND NOT EXPECTING OR GETTING ANYTHING BACK FROM THAT GESTURE AND THIS NORMALLY GOES A LONG WAY,  BUT INFATUATION IS ANOTHER KIND OF LOVE WHICH LOOKS SO REAL THAT YOU ARE TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT ITS REAL, BUT IT DOES NOT LAST AND IT’S LIKE A MAKE BELIEVE.  FROM MY LITTLE UNDERSTANDING THESE LOVE WHICH IS TRUE IS A SPECIAL FEELING, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE NEVER HAD THAT KIND OF STRANGE SENSATION OR FEELING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE IN YOUR LIFE.
true love

ANY LOVE THAT IS TRUE IS NOT FRAGILE BUT STRONG AND VERY UNCONDITIONAL AND WITH IT ALL KINDS OF COMPATIBILITY ISSUES ARE BROKEN.  IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP THERE ARE ALWAYS ROUGH TIMES  AND IT WILL LOOK LIKE YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A WHIRL WIND OR CRISIS AND IN SOME CASES SOME PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE OF SCALING THROUGH, WHICH EVENTUALLY, MIGHT LEAD TO BREAKUPS. AND FOR EVERY BREAKUP THERE IS ALWAYS ONE REASON, WHICH EVENTUALLY LEADS TO MUTUAL DECISION DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND THERE CONTROL.
love

IF THE LOVE IS TRUE, COULD THERE BE BREAKUP?, IF IT DOES HAPPEN IT IS ON RARE CASES AND MOST TIMES THEY HAPPEN FOR A SPECIAL REASON WHICH CANNOT BE COMPROMISED, SO IT IS POSSIBLE TO BREAKUP WITH TRUE LOVE. TRUE LOVE IS HAVING THE COMPASSION, FEELING, AND STRENGTH TO LOVE SOMEONE WITH ALL YOUR HEART, MIND AND SOUL, BUT DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND YOUR CONTROL, YOU JUST HAVE TO LET GO.  WITH RESPECT AND LOVE  FOR THAT RELATIONSHIP, THE FEELING WILL NEVER GO AWAY AND YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE THOUGHTS OF THAT PERSON EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE. ON THE OTHER HAND IF THERE WAS  A BREAKUP WITH SOMEBODY AND THEY NEVER LOOKED BACK,THEN IT WAS NEVER A TRUE LOVE.

THE BREAKING AWAY OF THE BELOVED

HOW GLORIOUS  WAS THAT FAITHFUL DAY WHEN THE TWO LOVE BIRDS MET AND FINALLY DECIDED AFTER A WHILE TO SAY I DO AND HOW PAINFUL IT IS AFTER A LOT OF GOOD AND BLISS TIME TOGETHER,WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND ONE SAYING GOODBYE MY DEAR, AFTER A WHIRL WIND WHICH BREAKS THEM APART LIKE A TREE WICH IS BROKEN INTO TWO AFTER A TERRIBLE  WIND.

IT WAS A VERY PAINFUL AND MEMORY DAY WHEN THE MAN WAKES UP AND SAID I DONT UNDERSTAND MYSELF AND AFTER A SHORT TIME SAYS UNEXPECTED GOODBYE, I HEAR THE TRUMPET CALL.

THE MORNING BELL SOUNDS WHEN THE BELOVED SAYS BYEEEE AND THERE GOES THE SINGING BIRD SINGING: LO! I TELL YOU A MYSTERY . WE SHALL NOT ALL SLEEP ,BUT WE SHALL ALL BE CHANGED,IN A MOMENT,IN THE TWINKLING OF AN EYE,AT THE TRUMPET.FOR THE TRUMPET WILL SOUND, AND MAN WILL BE RAISED IMPERISHABLE,AND WE SHALL BE CHANGED.FOR THE PERISHABLE NATURE MUST PUT ON THE IMPERISHABLE,AND THIS MORTAL NATURE MUST PUT ON IMMORTALITY.WHEN THE PERISHABLE PUTS ON THE IMPERISHABLE,AND THE MORTAL PUTS ON IMMORTALITY,THEN SHALL COME TO PASS THE SAYING THAT IS WRITTEN DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP IN VICTORY.

FOR WE KNOW THAT IF THE EARTHLY TENT WE LIVE IN IS DESTROYED,WE HAVE A BUILDING FROM GOD, A HOUSE NOT MADE WITH HANDS,ETERNAL IN HEAVENS.

HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN BROKEN AWAY FROM YOUR LOVED ONES?

The beauty of thanksgiving

Thanksgiving as a way of life

giving thanks

thanksgiving

 The hustling and bustling, the excitement, the preparation, the announcements, the radio and television discussion about thanksgiving makes one to wonder how it would be devastating if there is no Thanksgiving, but for everyday that passes in our lives we always have a thing or two to say thank you for. Is it the job that we got or the birth of our kids or the house that we bought or the new car that we have or our kids graduating from school and we are happy for the blessing of God by giving us good and understanding neighbors or friends that always want to hear us out and listen to what we have to say and the people we have in our lives. We are thankful for all that has transpired in our lives from different angles of our various lives, starting from the beginning of the year till date.

giving thanks

thanks

It was a great and wonderful day when we went out to the salvation army place to appreciate the thanksgiving, the hall was full of people, the kids were playing around, the adults were discussing, the ushers were helping people with food and other activities in this place and the beauty of it all is the interaction and the happiness you see on people’s face on that particular day, the DJ was there doing his thing and the most exciting part of it was the gift that was given out from the ticket that was given out to everybody and to make it more elaborate was the band that played at this occasion, the little children that were singing and playing around and the host and I then said to myself, no matter what your situation is and whatever you are going through, we need to give thanks for every single day of our lives, for every single breath that we breathe and for the lives of our family and friends.

thanksgiving

thanksgiving

some are in the hospital not able to go out or see friends, but the lives that they have is worth being thankful for and it is always a thing of beauty to say Our father in heaven we thank you, if that is the only prayer we have, it is worth it. We have always been thankful for everyday of our lives and when we sleep and wake up, but the most beautiful thing about thanksgiving is being able to say thank you after all our lives experiences on the thanksgiving day is absolutely amazing.  Some families go out on that day to the movies to have fun which is part of the beauty of thanksgiving.  One other thing that i appreciate and value about the thanksgiving is the black Friday, a lot of family is making preparation for this day so they can buy stuff for a moderate price and enjoy the bliss of the thanksgiving ceremony and another thing that i realize is people going out on black Friday despite the cold to buy stuff for their various families.

Love At The Thanksgiving Day Parade