THE TRAUMA OF WIDOWHOOD

MISSING A LOVED TREASURE

WIDOWHOOD IS SOMETHING THAT BEFALLS PEOPLE UNEXPECTEDLY WITHOUT PRIOR ARRANGEMENT OR KNOWLEDGE AND IT GOES ALONG WITH A LOT OF OTHER EFFECTS, BUT THIS CAN BE OVERCOME, WHOEVER IS INVOLVED GETS HIM OR HERSELF COMPOSED WHATEVER THE SITUATION, I WAS BY THE FIRE BROODING OVER MY EXPERIENCES AND THINKING OF HOW MUCH I LOVED AND MISSED MY BELOVED, ESPECIALLY WHEN I REMEMBER HOW HE USED TO CUDDLE ME, PET ME WHEN I AM UPSET, TALK GENTLY TO ME AND HOW WE USED TO SIT BY THE TV OR BY THE FIRE DISCUSSING, “WHAT A MEMORY!” AND PLANNING ABOUT TOMORROW AND THE FUTURE, IT WAS REALLY NICE AND LOVELY, ALTHOUGH I HAVE FAMILY TO GO TO AND RELY ON , BUT ITS NOT LIKE WHEN HE WAS HERE, I MISSED HIM, BUT I HAVE REALISED THAT LIFE CONTINUES NO MATTER WHAT, SO I HAVE DECIDED TO FACE MY BUSINESS, MY LIFE and TAKE GOOD CARE OF HOME .

English: Lady Napier (1794–1883) in widowhood.

English: Lady Napier (1794–1883) in widowhood. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I DO REALIZE THAT FOR A WIDOW NOT TO MISS THE LOVED ONE, IT’S GOOD TO SHOW THEM LOVE AND AFFECTION, INVITE THEM ONES IN A WHILE FOR OUTINGS WHICH WILL MAKE THEM TO BE IN A GATHERING OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY , WITH A LOT OF DISCUSSION AND LAUGHTER, THIS WILL GIVE THEM A REASSURANCE OF BETTER LIFE AHEAD. ITS GOOD TO ADVISE AGAINST THINKING ALL THE TIME WHICH MIGHT LEAD TO HEALTH ISSUES AND DEPRESSION AND A LOT OF UNNECESSARY SITUATIONS AND CIRCUMSTANCES. ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT IS VERY NECESSARY WHEN IT COMES TO SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

EVERYBODY HAS A WAY OF MORNING THEIR LOVED ONES AND IT IS ALWAYS VERY SAD AND UNFORTUNATE THAT WE THINK MORE ABOUT THEM AND WISH THAT THEY WERE STILL ALIVE AND WOULD HAVE APPRECIATED THEM MORE, IF THEY WERE STILL HERE WITH US.

Season of peace and happiness

Happy Holidays To You

A happy time is when people get together to celebrate a most important and peaceful time that matters to all. Christmas is a time when all friends and families leave there jobs and what ever they have to do to celebrate, it is also a time that people get together in harmony to appreciate life,time and unity with happiness that really counts in the life of man and this is a time when families go out to eat and have fun that really counts with friends and relations .

xmas holiday

happy holidays

Christmas at Downton Abbey (2CD)

Christmas is a special time where kids are happy and want to show it by going to Christmas parties and singing carols and Christmas sing and there are lots of important and necessary things happening for everybody. It is really a time that everybody is looking forward to. i remember as a little kid, this is a time that we are always looking forward to, because we always have fireworks and a lot of fun including going to parties and a lot of eating and drinking, it’s all fun time for all.

holiday

holiday

 

Christmas is a peaceful and mood changing period when everybody forgets about their life challenges, sorrows pains and whatever they are going through. It is a season of great impression on all grounds and it is a wonderful time that needs consideration by both kids and adults, so it’s a season of happiness, song, celebration and joy. Christmas has always been a holiday celebrated carelessly, both pagans, Christians, millennia and Jews alike have become part of the season’s festivities, and it is only few people who consider the celebration’s intrinsic meaning, history, or origins. The joy of it is what really matters and not its origin.

fun and game

Most of the most popular Christmas customs which includes the Christmas trees, Christmas presents and Santa Claus. Most people who are happily preparing for the Xmas celebrations would rather not know about the holidays real origin or significance. even if they know the history or origin of Christmas, they do not care because of the fun and happiness that it brings and that is what really counts or matters.

xmas

I remember the Christmas song:” Happy Holiday Happy holiday, happy holiday While the merry bells keep ringing May your every wish come true. Happy holiday, happy holiday May the calendar keep bringing Happy holidays to you. Come To Holiday Inn If you’re burdened down with trouble, If your nerves are wearing thin Park your load down the road And come to Holiday Inn. If the traffic noise affects you Like a squeaky violin Kick your cares down the stairs And come to Holiday Inn. If you can’t find someone who Would set your heart a-whirl Take your car and motor to The home of boy meets girl. If you’re laid-up with a breakdown, Throw away your vitamin Don’t get worse, grab your nurse and come to holiday inn?” It would be a good thing to bring your family and friends together at this time of the year. “Happy Holidays”.
Santa Toilet Seat Cover and Rug Set (Red)

 

 

LAUGHTER-THE MOST CHERISHED BENEFIT TO MAN

THE BENEFIT OF LAUGHING AND HOW IT GIVES YOU RELIEF OF MIND AND JOY

 

LAUGHING CAT

LAUGHING CAT

LAUGHING AWAY YOUR DISTRESS, STRESS, PAIN, SORROWS AND THOUGHTS IS A NATURAL PROCESS WHICH CHANGES THE MOOD OF A MAN .STUDIES SO FAR HAVE SHOWN THAT LAUGHTER CAN RELIEVE PAIN, BRING GREATER HAPPINESS AND EVEN INCREASE IMMUNITY.

LAUGHING MOST OF THE TIME IS AN INDICATION OF HAPPINESS, JOY AND ALSO AN INDICATION OF GOOD MOOD WHICH ALWAYS ARE VERY USEFUL FOR HEALTH AND FOR GOOD LIFE. HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU HAVE TO LAUGH OR CRY?, HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED THAT GOOD FEELING AFTER A GOOD LAUGH?. LAUGHTER PROVIDES A PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL HAPPINESS OR RELEASE AND A GOOD BELLY LAUGH EXERCISES THE DIAPHRAGM,CONTRACTS THE ABS AND EVEN WORKS OUT THE SHOULDERS,LEAVING MUSCLES MORE RELAXED.

LAUGHTER TAKES THE MIND AWAY FROM ANGER ,GUILT,STRESS AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN A MORE BENEFICIAL WAY THAN OTHER MERE DISTRACTIONS. IT DISSOLVES DISTRESSING EMOTIONS , YOU CANT FEEL ANXIOUS,ANGRY,OR SAD WHEN YOU ARE LAUGHING.LAUGHTER HELPS YOU RELAX AND RECHARGES.IT REDUCES STRESS AND INCREASES ENERGY,ENABLING YOU TO STAY FOCUSED AND ACCOMPLISH MORE.LAUGHING WITH OTHERS IS MORE POWERFUL THAN LAUGHING ALONE. SHARED LAUGHTER IS ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE TOOLS FOR KEEPING RELATIONSHIP FRESH AND EXCITING.

WHAT DOES LAUGHTER REALLY DO TO A MAN? :

  • BOOSTS IMMUNITY

  • LOWERS STRESS HORMONES

  • DECREASES PAINS

  • RELAXES YOUR MUSCLES

  • PREVENTS HEART DISEASE

  • ADDS JOY AND ZEST TO LIFE

  • RELIEVES STRESS

  • IMPROVES MOOD

  • ENHANCES RESILIENCE

  • STRENGTHENS RELATIONSHIPS

  • ATTRACTS OTHERS TO US

  • ENHANCES TEAM WORK

  • HELPS DEFUSE CONFLICT

  • PROMOTES GROUP BONDING

LAUGHS AND HUMOR HELPS YOU STAY EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY, IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD AND THE GOOD FEELING THAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LAUGH REMAINS WITH YOU AFTER THE LAUGHTER SUBSIDES. IT HAS BEEN DISCOVERED THAT LAUGHTER AND JOY BOOSTS IMMUNE FUNCTIONS AND WITHOUT A DOUBT , JOYFUL PEOPLE LIVE LONGER AND HAVE HEALTHIER LIVES. SO READ YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS,WATCH YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIANS AND LAUGH IT UP !

REACTING OVER PAST EXPERIENCES OF LIFE

THE THOUGHTS OF THINKING ABOUT THE PAST AND STILL HOLDING UNTO IT AND REACTING WITH IT

Being humans that we are , we all do have history and experiences from the past right from when we were born till now, we all do have different phases to life and the circumstances that call for this are of different kinds but, one way or the other we do have our different life experiences and some are good and wonderful, some are mild and some are very bad, that its difficult to forget and some of us hold unto this past experiences and wallow in them and we allow it to affect the present life in which we live in, thereby holding grudges with the past. Experience as they say, is a good and probably the best teacher, it is a special cane which makes you learn and use the incident that brought about that experience as a tool for caution and a tool for bringing awareness to others, for them to know what life is all about and som people express this experiences in different ways through movies,music,comedy and other means of communications.

reacting with experience
Reacting with experiences

Life is full of challenges and sometimes its good to have them because they are lessons of life which carry us along, but some people hold unto this and refuse to let go and use it as a yardstick to vindicate other people who come across their part, especially someone who has been in a very bad relationship and having come out of it, most times have the thought that all are bad, just like some women will say men are bad because of what she went through in her last or previous relationships, forgetting that everybody is not and can never be the same, for the fact that you had bad experience with the previous person is not a criteria for same experience with your new acquaintance the reason being that our upbringing, orientation, background and ways we were individually brought up has never been and will never be the same which brings about changes in people and character differences.

Out of body experience

Whatever life has presented in the past either good or bad should never be a yardstick for reaction towards the present negatively or towards whomever we come across in the future, for life has to continue. we should use our experiences as a lesson or means of caution for future occurrences. we should focus on the present and the future and hope for better life and not keep feeling bad about what happened months and years ago and letting it affect our new friends and acquaintances or whomever we are dealing with.

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Article Writing And Creating Blogs

Creating Or Writing Articles

article

Article writing or content production needs some talents, special interest or flare for generating article contents or writing which will make you continuously have the mind for writing interesting and intriguing articles for your readers. We all have different methods, ways or techniques to creating, or writing any type of article and many of us have different ways or rules to writing. For us to create good and compelling articles we need creativity to impress our audience and at the same time we have to produce enjoyable contents. Writing important and exciting articles needs some Inspiration, experience and strategies for producing items.

article

There are so many methods to article writing but it is always good to decide the best approach to writing your articles and the style you want to use for writing which sometimes could be very important which eventually might be the avenue for productive creativity and probably will boost your article writing for your blog. Most times, writing the best article needs inspiration which in most cases will affect your mode of writing which will decide how much your audience will enjoy what you are writing about . Your flare for writing is also a source of inspiration which helps and influences your method of writing a blog or any article.

making money with article

Creating blog articles is challenging sometimes, especially when trying to get a topic for your blog and when you are wondering what your next topic is and you are not sure of what to write about is sometimes very challenging. After we decide what our topic is, we will need to make keyword searches and do our research before we finally start writing but, no matter what we write about , we need to make sure it is a topic of interest and many a times, if we already had a similar experience of what we are writing about would be an absolute source of inspiration, which will fasten our writing and motivate us as writers.

article writing

You need to avoid writing boring articles and try producing quality contents which is going to influence your work and how you write your articles. Where do you get your inspiration from?, It could be from an idea that you thought about or an incident that happened to you or someone else that you know about, which eventually would be a source of your inspiration. Most importantly our flare and interest in writing would go a long way.

 

Importance Of Honesty In Friendship

friendssincere

Why Honesty is important in friendship

Honesty and sincerity is the foundation of every good thing, especially when it comes to relationships which could go a long way, although,True and real friends are hard to find this days but they are always there at the corner as long as you have a honest and sincere heart towards each other and i believe Honesty in a relationship is a possibility as long as there is an established trust. There are many factors which makes up a good friend and the most important of them all is being able to open up to each other and not keeping secrets from each other.

ram

Your best friends are always there by you, no matter what your situation is and they will support you and make sure you archive your goals in life because you have become part of them and they part of you but transparency and honesty is the key. secrets and lies can destroy what both of you have built especially, if you have been friends for a long time. You don't want your friend to feel betrayed especially by you and i am sure you don't want to feel betrayed by a friend either. Secrets and lies are always not the best in whatever situation you may find yourself, even if you think it's better than not telling the truth or being honest with that friend. Truth always comes out at the end and they could feel betrayed.

boysinthe field

Honesty is the source and the pillar of a good friendship. For us to Build and or keep up this honesty, we need to make conscious effort to tell the truth, be able to communicate freely and you have to keep to your word. Reliability to each other at all times will go a long way, confrontation could be helpful sometimes which will clarify some issues that you probably do not understand. In order to have an honest and trusted relationship, It is always a good idea to learn how to open up with each other. Telling lies to a friend might end up devaluing the relationship you have built with that person if found out.

railfriends

From my little understanding, honesty simply means you have to agree to say the truth no matter , it means giving information according to the facts. It is almost like saying "I promise to say the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God " when someone is not opening up or is not saying the truth, could be taken as dishonesty. The truth is nobody wants to deal with friends they can't trust to give their sincere opinion about a particular topic. You always want to know your friends opinion instead of them just accepting whatever you say to them because you are friends. If there is no sincerity and honesty between friends then that relationship is not worth it, One way or the other honesty is a way of showing respect to your friends and it proves that you are not fake.

friends for ever

Here comes my Question: "would you rather risk loosing a friend by being honest or would you rather keep that friend by not speaking your mind?" My sincere opinion is that honesty is always the best teacher and the best policy when we are dealing with our friends or anybody else. I will like to have your opinion about this topic

 

 

Steps To Take When You Are Angry Or Frustrated

What To Do When Angry Or Frustrated

angry

anger

Anger could be called a process of natural irritation due to an event or circumstance which could lead to frustration if care is not taken. No matter what the situation is, it is always good to convert your anger into a good and useful thing instead of letting it become destructive. There are so many things you can do when you are angry, such as you walking out of the house at that instance so that you can cool off, you can mow the lawn or do housework. All this process makes you shed the anger and the good thing is that when you are angry, whatever you are doing gets done on time and this is because it gives you the opportunity to vent e.g. scrubbing a shower, mopping a floor – avoid any kind of dusting, because it doesn’t have the hard physical activity you need to throw out your anger. There are so many other recreation activities you can involve yourself in, when you are angry and this includes outdoor jogging and other types of exercise. That way you can burn off your anger and your mood will definitely change and you will feel great because you mastered your anger and channeled it into something good.

You Don’t Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One

frustrated

angry

Humour can also be a tool for defusing your anger. You can watch one of your favorite silly humour movies, take a few deep breaths and prepare for a mental “movie screening”… and slowly recall that favorite funny scene. It will help you cut your anger. Try to take things easy and don’t be too hard on yourself, and it is a very good idea not to expect too much from other people either. When you start boiling up in anger. try the best you can to control your anger by taking some of the actions mentioned above. Say it out loud and clear, “The trash spilled on the floor again?, and so what? Oh well, that’s life.” Most importantly is you taking a pick at what got you angry in th e first place. Why were you angry in the first place, the goal is to divide the problem into one of 2 classes.

upset

frustrated

How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger (Laugh & Learn)

1. If your anger is about a specific issue that could lead to change whether it’s your behavior or someone else’s, then decide what to do about it non-violently. For example, if you are angry at yourself for leaving shoes where you will trip over them, then move the shoes and make a rule to keep them in the new spot. Or if a neighbor has borrowed something of yours awhile ago and hasn’t given it back, then tell the neighbor that you’d like the item back please as you need to use it again soon. Remember to keep things in perspective and don’t expect perfection.

angry

Anger

You Can’t Make Me Angry

 

2. Lets look at it critically, If your anger is absolutely beyond your control or out of proportion, then there is really nothing you can do, But to mentally visualize yourself wrapping your anger in a box and giving it away to the person or situation that brought about it in the first place. When you find it difficult controlling your anger or unable to channel your anger into anything useful with the above tips, then there surely will be a problem and could be destructive – not only to you, most importantly to those around you. Never put your loved ones through anything bad because of your anger. If you feel your anger is getting out of control sometimes, seek help. It takes a lot of determination to do that. Some people find that anger management classes give them a lot of help and i will suggest you try this avenue too to see if you can get help through it. Remember, you owe it not just to yourself but to your loved ones to seek help if you need it.

The world Of Loneliness

Loneliness and Its Effects

lonely

lonely

Loneliness has always been a painful and disturbing situation whereby you don’t feel connected to others and you feel the important needs in your life are not being met and you feel some emptiness. We as humans always need acquaintance and this brings about creation of relationships and friendship so, loneliness is a signal that an important basic need is not being met such as the need to develop a circle of friends or a special relationship. People need people. If you are lonely, you sometimes feel the need for warmth, understanding, and long to share your feelings and thoughts with others. Loneliness does not necessarily mean being alone. For instance, you can feel lonely when you are in a class with twenty other students, in the middle of a party, at a sports event with hundreds of screaming spectators, or surrounded by family.

loneliness

loneliness

Loneliness can mean:

  • Feeling that you are unacceptable, unloved by those around you, not worthwhile, even if others don’t share these perceptions; feeling alienated from your surroundings: lacking the attachments that you had in the past… feeling that there is no one with whom to share your personal concerns and experiences…
  • Feeling that you are alone and have no other choice. You may find it difficult to make friends or go beyond mere acquaintance… Loneliness to me means no real companionship
  • There is no one close enough to touch and willing to laugh when I make a stupid joke so I can think I’m funny.
  • Loneliness means eating lots of meals alone. One fork hitting one plate every night for several years is a very desolate sound, devastating and this ruins the best of culinary creations when you match it with a good long stare at the wall in front of you.
  • Feeling that you are not wanted, sometimes you want to associate with others but you have this feeling which draw you back and makes you feel unwanted by others.
  • It sometimes means being very afraid that you will never develop whatever it is that lets other people experience how you feel or share your ideas or feelings with other people, so they can gain or learn from your little experience

    alone

    alone

The best we can do when we feel lonely is to try to share our feelings and emotions with others. Reasonable advice and good direction on the right part could be very useful because sometimes if you do not let others know your feelings or try to get at least one person you can share your mind and thoughts with, then you might get into trouble, because loneliness sometimes can lead to a lot of things like depression and uncertainty about yourself, life and the world in general, so no matter what we are going through we should avoid being lonely and civilization has made things easy now. If you feel so lonely try joining a social media, make friends and share opinion, ideas, be active and sometimes solution to your problems could come from there and you might eventually not feel lonely again.

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My day job and my passion

What is my day job and What is my passion

My day job is what I take interest in doing and want to do my best at, but my passion is what I love with my whole heart and want to do all that i can to develop and grow it, there are times we have a job we don’t like but we still do it out of necessity to live and sustain ourselves and our family and on the other hand we always have the zeal and passion for one thing or the other, but it is always a good thing to do that which we have passion for at all times, take for instance I love blogging which is my passion and being a full-time blogger is what i am targeting and i am trying my best to meet up with that goal, but my passion supersedes every other thing, which is why I keep blogging still hoping for the best. I am still looking for that freedom of doing what I love full-time without any stress.

index

There are so many things we can do for our dreams to come true, even if we don’t like what we do , we can use what we don’t like which is our work as an avenue for funding that which we want and love which is our passion, which with hard work and a lot of effort will generate good result if properly harnessed. We all have passion for all kinds of things and different purposes, but many of us do not like our day job as much as what we have passion for.

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I love expressing myself by blogging to the benefit of all and to make others learn from my little experience and shearing my ideas with like-minded people and everybody interested in reading my blog, now let talk about you, what are your passions and does it in any way stand in the way of your passion?, no matter what your passion is try your best to make yourself happy by doing what you love and not what you have to do because you have to do it.

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It’s very unfortunate if you dislike the job you do and feel uncomfortable doing it, which is very understandable, even though its a job you have no passion about, especially working with some people whom you don’t ever wish to work with, but the truth is you have to keep appreciating what you do now and can be used as an instrument for getting you to where your passion is.

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WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU VALUE MOST IN FRIENDS

WHAT WOULD YOU WANT IN A FRIEND?


Friendship is a relationship of two people with mutual understanding, care, affection and love coming together, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each others feelings. A true friend is always there for you at all times despite all conditions and circumstances, they will always believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself and they always keep promises. there are qualities that accrues to a friend.



The qualities that i appreciate most in a friend are :

  • Giving me unconditional love, having great sense of humor and considering me as part of their family.

  • Honesty and willingness to forgive and take chances

  • My friend must not be a liar and selfish

  • A good friend must be loyal and kind. must be someone that will listen and respond with frequent answers and must have a good heart with intelligence.

  • My friend must be unpretentious and backbiting.

  • A good friend will not hold grudges or take anything i say personally because they know i always have their best interest in mind all the time

  • They are always there especially in times of need and chaos, they are there to advice and worry about you when the need arises.

  • They accept me for who i am without judgement and criticism and are always supportive even if they don’t appreciate what i do.

  • They support me when i am right and they gladly and lovingly tell me when they feel i am wrong.

  • They are not jealous of you, but will be happy at your achievements.